you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize