She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
