I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
