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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
