The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
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I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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