hotel room ftw
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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