The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
