Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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