Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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