I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
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omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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