can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
