i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he puts the penis in happiness.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
