She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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