Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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