Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
