i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
