Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
