i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Too much gin, very little bucket
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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