Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
