I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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