I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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