I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
