i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
