I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize