watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
