Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
