Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
