I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
