She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
