I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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