So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
