My Higher Power is John Stamos
We named our party play list daddy issues
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
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