I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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