The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
