Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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