Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
