You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize