Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
