Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
