i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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