Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
