Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
