you traded sex for a burrito?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
