yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
