He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
