he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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