At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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