I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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