Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
