thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
