I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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