i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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