ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
