I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
