I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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