she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
