I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
