They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
