Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Randomize
