Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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