i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
