Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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