good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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