I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
